23 Sep The final steps
The final steps toward full-time Advokate feel like stages of grief, stages of metamorphosis, stages of evolution.
There’s denial, anger, depression, and moments where I’m not sure if I can breathe. I’ve had cocoon days.
The way I counted the steps down the aisle on my wedding day and the steps to the operating room on the day Henry was born, I’m counting the days until I jump off the cliff of a steady paycheck. Until I shed the skin I’ve been wearing, and become something new.
I have these wings I made. I think they work. They’re attached right. They’ve done well in shorter flights, where I had somewhere to land. I’m not doing something I’ve never done. I’m just doing more of it, with a more focused attention than I’ve been able to give it before.
In just a few more days, I have to hold my breath and jump.
I’m not sure where I’m going, but I hope it’s up.